I can be quite sentimental and I keep things forever and have a really hard time letting things go. So after recently breaking up with the gentleman I've been spending my time with over the past few months, I found myself wanting to choose one of the things he had left behind as a small token before returning the rest.

I had:

a pair of his tighty whitey undies

his 'planet earth' season one dvd

a toothbrush

an old dishcloth from his ma which we had taken on our canoe camping trip

So, the dvd didn't even play in my dvd player as it was a uk version and I wasn't interested in it anyhow. If I'm going to keep something to remember someone by, it won't be something as generic as a television series.

Moving on to the underwear...I remember how exciting it was finding his underwear hiding under my pillow or in other areas around my bed when we first started spending time together. I would do the laundry and he'd be so surprised when I presented him with freshly folded pairs of his underwear...'how did I manage to leave so many of these here?' he'd always wonder. But keeping his undies would present an awkward issue the next time I'm in a relationship. I wouldn't want my future man wondering what the eff I'm doing keeping some dudes fruit of the looms around for.

Which leaves us to the toothbrush. I actually kept my boyfriend befores' toothbrush in the holder for months after we ended things, not able to bring myself to toss it. I think keeping his toothbrush was a sign of denial, not wanting it to be over and having hope that things could reignite. With this man things are over though and what better way to send that message than returning a toothbrush.

So I found myself very much wanting to keep this old, ratty, frayed, faded dishtowel. It's a hand-me-down from his Mother when he moved into his own place. It was the perfect one to bring on our camping trip since it was already so disheveled. But I really liked the homey feel of it and how it used to be used in the house he grew up in by him and his family. His Mother is just about the sweetest thing around and I'm sad knowing I'll never see her again. I like that his mother gave it to him and I like knowing that his little hands were on it when he was a wee wipper snapper growing up. And we had such a great time on our camping trip together. And it perfectly fits my sentimental criteria.

But I gave it all back to him today. I think I had a moment of guilt even though he isn't even aware he left this at my place and would never ever miss it or think about it again. And if I told him this entire ridiculous blurb I just shared with you, he would hand over the towel and let me have it...would probably even want me to have it, this old tattered shmatah. And I saw a part of myself, and how I am different from him, and this is what I need to focus on now.